All my fault

[Charlotte]

((Ok, latest, latest thread with big plans coming up. Just to unconfused you, Maya‘s baby‘s name is Aila.))

“Go. Get out of here.” I chivvied Maya and Josh.
“You sure you’ll be ok?” Maya asked , typical protective parent that she was.
“Yes.” I exclaimed. “For the thousandth time go. Have fun. Blow off steam.” Doc was slightly more reserved in his expression.
“We’ll all be fine Mai. Don’t worry about a thing. Besides, you’d know if anything was wrong.”<br>Maya nodded and walked through the doorway. I made to shut the door but she turned at the last second and stopped me.
“You know where the spare nappies are right?”<br>“Yes. And the bottles, and the baby food. Just go.” I said firmly.
“Sorry. I just have a bad feeling about tonight.” Maya said genuinely.
“You’re leaving your baby for the first time.” Doc said sensibly. “You’re going to feel strange but you know you can trust us. Go have some fun.”<br>Eventually Maya and Josh left, leaving me Doc and the baby alone together. We sat on the sofa together and I could almost imagine we were one family but I knew there was no way I would be having a kid any time soon. The evening ticked by uneventfully, Aila soon fell asleep and Doc and I…well we amused ourselves quite easily. At about 11.00 Doc went to the bathroom and I got up to check on Aila. I leant over her cot and looked down at her sleeping form. I couldn’t imagine how I had ever resented the idea of her being born, she was so…<br>Beautiful a little voice in the back of my mind supplied.
“Yeah” I agreed. “Beautiful.”<br>It’s a shame. The voice said in a seductively silky voice.
“What is?”<br>To bring such an innocent creature into a world like this.
“What do you mean?” I asked entranced by the voice.
She is so helpless.
“I’ll protect her.” I said firmly as she unconsciously curled her fingers around one of mine.
She may be in great danger
“We’ll all protect her. Maya and Josh. Doc, Jessy, we all will.”<br>From the demons and the witches maybe.
“What else is there? We’re strong. We’ll fight for her. We’ll do anything for her.” I stated, surer of that than I was of anything else.
You cannot fight it.i]
“What? What can’t we fight?”<br>The pain. The horrors of this life, of all life.
“What do you mean?”<br>Do you want her to experience what you have experienced? To experience the loss you have felt in your life? To see the things you have seen, have things done to her that you have had done to you?
Images from the past flashed through my mind, images of blood and ruin and despair. With them came the memories, and the emotions and the pain…oh the pain was unbearable. He was attacking me again, pulling every string to force me to do what he wanted. There she was, my vamped mother at the door, there it was, the burnt down shell of the watcher’s council.
“What can I do?” I was vaguely aware of Doc re-entering the room, no I wasn’t aware of it, I wasn’t aware of anything other than the baby and the voice, I just…I just knew somehow he was there.
You know what you can do. And suddenly I did know, the voice had told me. It showed me how to help, how to save her.
“But it’s so…”
So what? You would be doing her the greatest of services, delivering her from the devils of this world.

“Charlie?” Doc’s voice sounded as if from another world. I ignored him. I had much more urgent things to attend to.

“But what about Maya and Josh? “<br>The nineteen year old and the time wizard stripped of his powers? The voice scorned. You think they would be able to protect her? You think they could even cope with such a burden as a baby.
My old doubts resurfaced. A baby is a huge commitment, such an obligation.
See, you know they could not. Not without abandoning the rest of you.

“NO. No they wouldn’t abandon us. We’re family, they care about us.”<br>Some of you are family, some of you are important to their fight but you’re not are you? You are not slayer or witch or anything powerful. Why should they burden themselves further looking after you?
“No, no that’s not true?”<br>Which part? Where you’re actually a slayer or you’re actually a witch? Next you’ll be telling me that they don’t spend a huge amount of energy saving you from evil.
“Doesn’t mean they’d abandon me.”<br>Charlotte, a baby changes everything. They’d abandon you in a heartbeat for their baby. Anyone would. Look at how many have abandoned you in the past, either by death or their own will.
“They wouldn’t, Maya wouldn’t, I stayed with her in Cleveland.”<br>And look how she paid you back. By keeping from you the cause of her illness, by concealing her pregnancy and allowing you to worry. Do you want more of that? Do you need me to continue. Should I start on Doc, the choice between his niece or his girlfriend, one of whom he is related to by blood, the other who can be replaced.
“No.” I screamed clapping my hands over my ears. “NO don’t. I’ll do it. I’ll do it.”<br>You only have to complete the first stage, the voice said silkily. I will do the rest.

“Yes.” I agreed, “yes. I’m doing it.” Energy began to flow down my arm, magic from my mind sped down it like electric current as I placed my hand over Aila’s mouth and nose and pressed hard, watching as her tiny arms flailed and her legs kicked. Someone was tugging me from behind but my hand was held fast, I didn’t break my stare from her face, slowly turning purple.

The door slamming broke my trance. I looked up to see Maya standing in the doorway, breathless and flushed. I gasped, my eyes widened and my hand relaxed. I glanced down and stepped backwards in shock. The baby, who had lain there not a moment ago, had disappeared, vanished into thin air. I slowly lifted my eyes to meet Maya’s stony ones which were turning a solid, ebony black.

((Please don’t be in a hurry to sort things out, remember you’re gonna be angry with Charlie to put it mildly so be angry!))

[Maya]

It was as if a miniature storm had just whipped up within the room- the curtains billowed, magazine pages fluttered, and the lights flickered. Charlie looked petrified, and with good reason;
My hair and eyes had changed the second i saw her, and now my hands were held slightly out from my sides as i began to walk forward.
"We'll look after her, you can trust us, it'll be fine." I said in a mocking, mimicking voice, "What did you do to my child?" The last came out as more of a growl. She would have roughly five seconds to answer before the pain would begin.

[Charlotte]

"I don't know" I trmbled.
"Gotta do better than that Charlie."
"I really...I don't know...I swear. It wasn't me." I turned to Doc for support but he was looking at me as if i were a stranger.
"You did it Charlie, whatever it was. You tried to kill her."
"NO." I wept. "No. The voice. It made me. I swear I didn't mean to. Please." I turned from one stoney face to the next but Doc continued to look at me as if he didn't know me, Josh looked angrier than I'd ever seen him and Maya, Maya was the most frightening of all.

[Maya]

"The voice made you do it?" I hissed. "The voice... i cant believe i trusted you!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks even as i raged at her. I raised one hand, and saw Doc's eyes widen.
"No!" He cried, knocking Charlie out of the way of the bolt of energy.
"YOu're with her!?" I cried, hurt to my soul.
"NO!" He snapped back, "but you dont want to do that- you do NOT want to go down that road!" He had stepped away from Charlie now, looking as if he were going to be sick "I was protecting you, not her." He said quietly.
"She took my child." I said coldly. I felt Josh's hands on my arms- he was shaking.
"Get out." He growled at Charlie.
"But i..."
"GET OUT!" he bellowed

[Charlotte]

I did the only thing left to do. I ran. I ran and ran and ran until I couldn't anymore. I stopped by a playground and sat on the swingset staring at my feet as they swung a foot above the ground. I didn't understand, truly I didn't. What had happened? Where was Aila? I didn't know she would disappear, i didn't know what i had done. Then in a rush I realised the immensity of my actions. I retched and tears flooded my face as I hung limplyover the swing's chain.
"I'm a murderer." I whispered to myself then i howled it out loud to the deserted park as storm clouds gathered, spreading from maya's rage.
"I killed her. Oh g-d I killed her." I collapsed into a heap as the rain soaked me through and i couldn't tell the difference between tears and raindrops any more. "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

[Maya]

I let her go, and crossed swiftly to the baby's cot. I pointlessly pulled out all the covers, as if searching for Aila within them.
"Shes gone." I sobbed, "Oh goddess shes gone..." My knees gave way as i cried, "My baby, my light... shes gone..." I rocked backwards and forwards, Josh holding me as i bawled.

((Aila means 'light-bearer'))

[Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison]

Why did something feel so wrong about this?

Charlie wouldn't have done this, she loved that kid like it was her own. My brain started ticking over possiblities.

Don't get me wrong, I was mad. The girl I loved just did something to my niece. But I'd learnt a long time ago that sometimes emotion just got in the way, and had learnt to push that aside, run through the situation like I normally did. And right now, there was one painfully obvious thing Maya and Joshua had missed, not that I blame them.

"She can't do magic," I said out loud. They looked over at me.

"What?" Maya asked. I looked at my sister.

"Charlotte can't do magic," I repeated. "So how'd she make Alia disappear like that?"

[Jessy Jackson]

"Charlie? What's wrong? Come on girl it can't be that bad." Charlotte looked at me. She looked so hurt. It was terrible. I dropped down beside her.

[TPot]

I walked up to Charlotte, "What's up?" I could feel the emotions going on near Doc, you wouldn't have to have any energy at all to feel it.

[Charlotte]

((please don't excuse Charlie from what happened, please just act like you think she tried to kill Aila even if you don't think she actually did))

I couldn't tell them. I just shook my head, my soaked hair flapping around my shoulders.
"C'mon, you can tell us." Jessy said and I looked at her. She had no idea. This wasn't just another problem from the past, not another evil to fight, I had killed someone, a little baby, Maya's baby.
"Aila." I said finally. "I killed her."

[Jessy Jackson]

I didn't say anything. I didn't change my expression. But a art of me died then. A part called trust. I growled warningly. This was too much. My emotions took over and I changed shape. It was a familiar form, my panther. Silently deadly. I growled again.

[Pepper]

"You WHAT!?!" I yelled, dropping down from a nearby tree. "Okay, not meanin to eavesdrop her but you did WHAT to Aila!?!" I continued.
"Please tell me that 'killed' is codename for something! And preferably not the hell dimension something!". I finshed, tears beggining to well up in my eyes.

[Jessy Jackson]

I growled again. "Go." I couldn't wait much longer. My emotions released the pure animal inside me, the shifter. It told me to kill.

[Pepper]

I hissed and swiped at her "GET. OUT. OF. HERE". I hissed.

[Maya]

"She can do some." i said coldly, "I started teaching her."
"That still doesnt explain how she'd..."
"I dont care!" I snapped, knowing it was irrational but really not caring. "I saw what she was doing, Doc- no matter what the whole disappeary thing was about, she tried to kill my child! She killed her... Oh goddess Aila... oh goddess..." I could barely keep a conscious train of thought for more than a few moments as the enormity of the situation hit me over and over. My child was dead, or at least gone if not. And i had no clue where- i couldn't feel her.
"Oh goddess..."