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Post by Aredhel on Jul 12, 2004 16:57:51 GMT -5
I watched Maya, my elven ears picking up on everything she was saying. In my mind, I picked up on a lot more. I knew exactly how she felt, the feeling of finding a loved one, of relief so immense you can actually taste it and smell it. I knew what it was like to find someone you love after something like that. I knew how much it hurt.
I sighed, drawing Aralin's gaze. "You cannot ease her pain," she said softly. "Understanding it can only do so much."
"I know," I replied. "I only wish I could sway her decision. Life wouldn't be the same without her here."
Aralin shook her head. "This is her choice to make. It is her path to follow. You yourself did the same thing, did you not. She must figure this out on her own."
I sighed. "I know."
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Post by Avalon on Jul 12, 2004 18:53:49 GMT -5
<Let me have control> Joshua suddenly begged me.
<What? No!> My face betrayed nothing of our internal conversation.
<Not control of your body, control of our mind!> he stressed, and suddenly I knew what he meant. I also realized what he had done with Doc. He wanted to do a similar thing with Maya, but since she did not have a Soul Saber like Doc did, Joshua would need my cooperation, to be a focusing lense as it were to allow the same thing.
I quickly agreed, knowing that if Maya left under these circumstances, there would be a great deal of awkwardness when we met again. And I really want to avoid that.
Humoring him for one last time, the last time I swear, I said to Maya, "Mai, close your eyes."
She looked shocked and stunned all at once, looking back up at me.
"What?!"
"Close your eyes. There is something . . . that you need to see. Please, trust me."
Finally she accepted and just closed her eyes, sitting still waiting for something to happen.
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Post by Joshua on Jul 12, 2004 19:12:36 GMT -5
"Well? I'm waiting! What am I supposed to see?" Mai impatiently demanded, her eyes still closed.
I smiled warmly, she's so cute when she's being impatient.
Gently, with both my hands, I reached up and softly carressed her cheeks. She gasped suddenly, then seemed to think about it, and suddenly gasped again.
"J-j-Joshua?" she stuttered, sounding like she could start crying again at any moment.
"You can open your eyes now Mai," I whispered to her.
She did, and she stared in stunned disbelief at our surroundings for a second or two before moving and keeping all of her attention on me.
"What . . . how . . . where . . . wha--" she stopped her babbling and then closed her eyes again and briefly performed an on-the-spot meditation Willow had taught. "Is this an illusion?" she asked the moment she opened her eyes, much calmer and in control.
"Yes, but not the kind you're thinking of," I explained to her with a smile. "All of this," I gestured at our surroundings, "is up here." I tapped her head. "It's a mental construct which, as a Soul Sword, I've dragged your mind into."
"But... Japan???" she shouted as she waved drastically at the sunset and the cliff. and the unfamiliar sky around us.
"Our first date," I reminded her, stopping her tirade right there.
"Joshua..." she tried to start, but I forestalled her, taking her hands in my own and looking her right in the eye.
"I have prided our relationship on being one NOT about lies or deceptions. I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry I did this to you, but it was the only option available to me. True, it was not the only option . . . but this had the better result, all the others requiring demonic intervention, both of us dying, or something much worse. Trust me."
The way I said the last two words, she had no choice but to believe what I was telling her. The whole 'leaving behind the book' was meant to show her exactly why this was the only choice.
"And I'm not angry in the least little bit with you. Not over what you've been forced to go through, not because of any choices you made while I was gone . . . unless you've got a new boyfriend in which case it is my solemn duty to do as the cla$$ic song, "My Boyfriend's Back" and kick his a$$ whoever he, or she, is."
"Get your head out of the gutter Time boy!" she snapped as she slapped me on the back of the head.
"Ow," I said, rubbing the spot. Suddenly her eyes welled up huge with tears and I couldn't help laughing a little at her expression.
"Gods I missed you," I told her, stopping the waterworks right there.
"But . . ." I hesitated some, and finally let go of her hands and stepped back, "if you want time, I'll give you time. As much as you need or want. But there's something else that I need you to do. This has nothing to do about 'us' Mai. Avalon . . . She needs help."
"What kind of help?" Mai instantly shifted into her 'Slayer mode'.
I smirked and replied, "Not *that* kind of help. That kind she can take care of pretty easily. She's been trained for over 400 years in being the Perfect Warrior, so demons she can handle. However . . . She's been nothing but trained to be the perfect warrior. She has no "real life" experience. She doesn't know how the world, especially the American world, works, and she's never had to work for money before. She's never *needed* money before. She needs a guide, and since Jessy moved out the week before last, I was hoping that you would be that guide for Avalon. Sort of as a favor to me."
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Post by Charlotte on Jul 13, 2004 6:15:25 GMT -5
I had watched everything from a distance, confused and as almost an outsider. Something had happened to this group of warriors who had been so kind to me and though I did not understand part of it I shared their grief. Like all the others I had felt Maya's pain and it was because of what she had done for me that I followed her. I was not trying to interfer, i would never do that to her, but I know the pain of losing a loved one-most of us do-and of seeing them return in a form impossible to be with. I listened with baited breath, desperate to know what she would do, waiting to find out if she would stay or run away. I knew she would not leave through cowardice, I had seen too much to expect that, but something inside her was screaming to be away from here, to leave everything that was tied to her loss. I knew too that should she go, i would go too for Maya would need someone with her, someone not too close, just someone to listen to her and to understand. I hoped she would let me but I had to wait for her decision.
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Post by Maya on Jul 13, 2004 7:25:40 GMT -5
I gazed at him- Joshua- the face i had longed for in waking and in dreams since i had lost him. I knew this wasnt exactly real, but i wanted more than anything to hold him, to be close to him... and yet i also wanted to run as far and fast as i could.
"I dont know." I said, "I'm not sure i'd be the best person to help her, esspecially not right now... and... Joshua- Goddess! I'm just dealing with you being dead, then back... i dont think i'm quite ready for you to move in!"
"It's not me..." he began. I smiled,
"But it is." I replied. "I'm sorry, Josh... but... i dont even know if this makes sense... but i love you too much to be here right now... I will come back, i swear, and if Avalon still needs help whenever that is... then i'll give it if i can... But for now... For now, I have to go."
I closed my tear filled eyes, stepping forward to kiss him one last time, savouring the moment, for as i knew it would be, by the time i had stepped away, and opened my eyes, we were back in the real world.
"Good bye." I said, my voice almost breaking as i turned away, forcing myself to keep walking. I mounted my bike at the edge of the graveyard and roared off towards my apartment.
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Post by Charlotte on Jul 13, 2004 7:31:54 GMT -5
I ran as fast as I could, following Maya home. I leaned over gasping for breath but straightened up as I saw her leaving the building, bag slung over her shoulder. She looked over at me and nodded, a gesture we both knew to mean far more than it seemed. I climbed onto the back of her bike and we sped away from the apartments, from LA, from everything, knowing we would return...but not knowing when.
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Jul 13, 2004 10:50:24 GMT -5
"You b*tch! What the hell did you do?" Angry yells filled the graveyard as the sound of Mai's bike died away.
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Post by Aredhel on Jul 13, 2004 17:30:29 GMT -5
"Enough Jessy!" I snapped, grabbing her arm. I wasn't sure if she would actually try to hurt this 'Avalon', but I wasn't about to take the chance. The young shapeshifter seemed very POed, in any case.
"This was Maya's choice," Aralin said quietly. "And no one could make it for her."
"And how did you hear everything?" Jessy muttered back darkly.
"These ears do more than frame my face, kid," I replied smoothly. "Look, things aren't easy for anyone right now. So we're all going to take a deep calming breath and let Avalon explain. Alright?"
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Jul 14, 2004 0:54:14 GMT -5
"Ok it's just all too much. Joshua dies, Joshua comes back, Mai and Charlotte go away, its just too much, too much." I broke down. Luckily Rory caught me before I hit the floor.
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Post by Avalon on Jul 14, 2004 10:35:30 GMT -5
Even as the young empathic shapeshifter turned around, I was suddenly right beside her. She, and everyone in the group and I heard Aralin whisper to Aredhel in Espruar, "How did she do that?"
"First of all I would like to clear up the confusion," I spoke to Jessy first, but directed my comments towards everyone.
"I am not Joshua. He is the soul residing within my Soul Sword. I am my own person. Very much like the pheonix rising out of its ashes, I am made of the things Joshua was when he was alive, but I am not Joshua himself."
"Well now that that is cleared up," Jessy rhetorically commented, "Maybe you can explain exactly who you are!"
I shrugged, without a better explanation, I simply answered, "I am trained to be the perfect warrior. I am not stupid or boastful enough to claim to be the perfect warrior, there are plenty of creatures and forces out there stronger than I am, but I am also a contracted Champion of the creatures known only as the Powers That Be."
"I also have no money, no friends, no education beyond military, strategic, and warrior means, and the only means of survival I currently have include hunting and bartering."
"You also apparently don't know how to use contractions," observed Tpot.
I glared at him and he instantly gulped and unconsciously took a step back. "Joshua died because of you and saving your family. He did it willingly," I told him, "but that does not mean he likes you any more or less than he showed you previosly. The same dislike, you can be assured Mr. T-pot, has been transferred to me."
"Chill out!" Jessy suddenly shouted.
I tilted my head to the sighed, and asked her curiously, "I am not angry Miss Jessy, merely annoyed at his casual attitude during what is still a solemn occasion, namely Joshua's funeral. I apologize if I left you with the impression that I would attack one of your friends, which I promise you I would never do, unless provoked."
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Jul 14, 2004 12:36:53 GMT -5
"I am glad to see you are honourable. This is still a solemn affair and I will treat as such. Joshua has died and no matter whether his soul still resides in your soul sabre that is some thing to be mourned."
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Post by Avalon on Jul 14, 2004 19:30:53 GMT -5
"Soul sword," I automatically corrected, and then blushed crimson with embarrasment.
"What?" Jessy asked, although I couldn't tell her mood.
"Joshua prefers being referred to as a Soul Sword," I answered, still blushing slightly.
<Oh sure, bring me into this,> he grumbled in the back of my mind.
"Whatever," Jessy just rolled her eyes and turned away from me.
I sighed, my whole body slouching. <Great> I thought <this is turning out exactly like I planned. They hate me.>
<They don't hate you!> Joshua immediately argued. <The just have to get to know you, like I do.>
Somehow, that did not make me feel better.
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Post by Aredhel on Jul 14, 2004 20:24:19 GMT -5
I sighed inwardly, knowing she was talking to Joshua. For my part, I could only hear her side of the conversation, but I had an idea of where it was going. The poor child, so young, and with so many worries. But I knew that she was a warrior (despite the fact that she had just told us so), which meant that nothing would come easy for her; she had to fight for it all.
[They don't hate you] I said quite suddenly in her mind. She didn't flinch. [Please, allow them to adjust. I am Aredhel, though you may already know that. If you need anything, let me know.]
I was, for my part, finished at the funeral. I had nothing left to say to Joshua, and it was hard to convey my emotion to a larger group. I mourned on my own, for the most part, as I had been doing since the dawn of time. I couldn't stay here much longer.
I looked over at Aralin, who was standing a bit away now, eyes closed in silent meditation. I wondered if she was trying to reach his soul.
"I should be going," I said to the group out loud. "I cannot mourn his body when his soul is so near," I added quietly.
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Post by Avalon on Jul 15, 2004 0:26:48 GMT -5
<And I didn't even know her that well>
<Would you PLEASE SHUT UP!> I shouted at him.
He remained silent, but I could still sense him observing me, watching me, but he was either acknowledging my request, or by some agreement in my being his Bearer, I had prevented his communication to me, the equivalent of sealing his mouth shut.
<I heard that, and I was just trying to be agreeable, but if you're going to be arrogant about it...>
So much for that idea...
"I... I should not be here," I said aloud, then turned to go. "It was a mistake coming in the first place," mumbling to myself as I went in a direction the others who had left had not gone in.
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Jul 15, 2004 2:30:34 GMT -5
"Don't go!" I gave a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, really really sorry." Avalon stopped and turned back. I took this as an opportunity. "Come on. I'm guessing you haven't been in L.A before now. So you might want some help. We can give you that. I'm really sorry."
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'I could so save the world if somebody handed me superpowers.'
