(Grave Yard)Emptiness

[Jessy Jackson]

(((Most recent thread. After everything)))


It was cold. I'd never really noticed how cold the grave yard was until today. The gra$$ crunched softly underfoot and the clouds pa$$ed slowly overhead as if in mourning. I pulled my black shawl around me and stood, silently stood, by the grave. Rory placed his arm around me and I looked at the faces of the people around the memorial.

Doc. Joshua's greatest friend. He stood, head down, silent tears falling. His sabre in his hand in a position showing great respect. He looked at the frost gathering on the gra$$ around the statue.

Nicki. Joshua's friend and threatener in cheif. Her purple hair hung limply and her lilac eyes were now red. Tucker stood by her, holding her shoulders gently.

Tucker. College friend of Joshua. He looked strong yet I could tell he was breaking up inside. We all were. Spike and Angel stood close by.

Spike. Joshua had never liked him. But here he stood, risking his own life to honour one of the worlds greatest heroes. Angel too stood, showing grief in his posture and expression. The clouds were protecting them but it still was touching to see them risk it.

T-Pot and Trex. Not great friends and yet great friends of Joshua. T-pot stood reminicing about events and nick-names past, trex just stood. he felt sorrow the likes of which he had never felt before.

Aredhel and Aralin. Fellow warriors. They stood respectful, bows at their sides. They knew this was natural, death came to all eventually. Yet it had seemed unrealistic. Only four days ago, Joshua had been among us. Zeroc stood close to Aredhel, showing no emotion but deffinately feeling it. His brothers stood nearby.

Ate. She stood, glowing slightly, knowing she could do nothing. She bowed her head. Joshua was gone and they had never been strong friends yet there was a tie btween them. She felt as the rest of us did. Gutted.

Killian and Rachelle stood together. Their eyes looked steadily at the stone memorial as they remembered the battles we had all fought. Together.

Cevil stood, his gun in his hand, looking sorrowfully up at the sky. I hoped someone had removed the bullets as he looked so downcast. His face was grim and yet vunerable.

Charlotte stood a little way from the vampires in the group. She had barely known Joshua but she felt the loss as much as anyone of us.

Rogue stood, gazing at the frosty gra$$. Her eyes seemed softer, showing pain and sorrow deeper than any thing I had ever seen. Until I looked at Mai.

The kind, wonderful, energetic slayer seemed no more. She was just a hollow shell. Her eyes showed nothing, her face was blank. The only sign was the floods of silent tears flowing down her face. Her hair hung around her face, almost hiding her eyes. Nobody felt more than her. I looked away, the grief she held unbarable.

The epitaph read:

Joshua ?(I don't know your surname)
Devoted Friend
Masterful Warrior
He changed history
A lot

It was cold. I'd never really noticed how cold the grave yard was until today.

[Cervil]

(((Ok then, this is wierd, and even though I havnen't known Joshua for that long, I'll be sorrowful... for a while.)))

I stood there, looking at the sky, my gun in hand.

I decided to kneel. I stabbed my gun into the ground, took off my hat, and placed it on top... the only two items I had that were significant to me.

I looked around as other, too started to kneel, Maya looking as she could barely keep it together.

[Azoth (Kyler)]

I stood there, passibly the last one to start kneeling. There wasn't a dry eye to be seen, apart from me and my brothers, seeing as we can't produce water, therefor can't cry, even if we wanted to...

I easily kept my emotions under control, and so did Toraan... he could keep calm even in the most dier situations...

(((And Garroc wasn't smart enough to even know what's going on, or how to feel emotion for that matter)))

[Jessy Jackson]

I knelt on the cold ground, feeling the emptiness. Mai's skin was pale, contrasting greatly with her black clothing. In one shaking hand was held a red rose. She placed by the memorial. We all bowed our heads.

[Aredhel]

((woooooooah when did this happen?! what pivitol thread did I ignore? oh PS - elvish coming up in my post, and I've got fun translations too... ag I had to search a long while to find it all though XD))

It wasn't right. It just wasn't right. Standing beside me, Aralin felt the same, and I knew it. She was a bit confused I think; she would never fully understand death. Joshua's soul had left the world forever, and for Aralin, that was the greatest mystery, for even when elves die, their soul is still tied to the world. Something as final as death would never be fully understood by her. Even I, who had died myself, could not know what it would bring. It was sadenning.

All the worse was Maya's anguish. I couldn't look at her, couldn't meet her eye. She was pained enough for the both of us, I think. In fact, for the whole group. Though not one to show emotion, I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I wondered idly if it was for Joshua, or Maya. I would never know.

The elvish words tumbled out of my mouth, unbidden. They came in barely above a whisper, but it did not matter. He would hear them, my last words to him. To his grave.

"Ú i vethed, nâ i onnad. Lasto beth nîn. Losto, sedho, hodo. Hiro le hîdh ab 'wanath; calo anor na ven. I Aear cân ven le mar; dan, ú-'eveditham. Belain na le. Namárië, mellon nîn."

This is not the end, it is the beginning. Hear my voice. Sleep, be still, lie still. May you find peace after death; may the sun shine on your road. The Sea calls you home; we shall not meet again. The Valar be with you. Farewell, my friend.

I was dimly aware of Aralin singing her own lament, in the tongue of our people as well. As I ended, so did she, the last notes of her beautiful song dying away beyond the graves, never to be heard by the warrior again.

"Namárië! Nai hiruvalyë Valimar.
Na elyë hiruva. Namárië!"

Farewell! Maybe thou shalt find Valimar.
Maybe even thou shalt find it. Farewell!

[Maya]

I stood there, surrounded by so many people, but feeling utterly alone. Four vampires stood nearby, their hearts unbeating for centuries now, yet neither of their chests was as cold as mine.
Somehow i had known it would happen. I realised only when he was dying that this was why i had been unable to admit my affection for him- because I knew that everyone i had ever truly loved had died.
My mother, father and younger brother died at the hands of demons, because of me.
My elder brother died twice. Once at the fangs of a vampire, and the second at my stake.
The first boy i ever loved was cut down by bringers coming after me.
And now Joshua. I loved him more than it was possible to describe, and he had died because i followed him through to help Tpot and Tucker. If i had let him go alone, he would still be alive. If i had tried harder... maybe then i would have been able to work out how to undo his deal, to take my share... maybe even to take it all. I have the power to call an army of gods into my body, and yet i could not do such a simple thing as saving the life of the one i loved. If i could not even help the love of my life, then what use was any of this? What was the point of fighting if it did not help those who mattered most?
Some of the others were kneeling about me... i had not meant to, but my knees gave way, just unable to hold me up any more. I made no sound as the tears continued to flow, making little splashes on top of his grave.
His grave.
Joshua was dead.
He was gone.
He left me.
All of a sudden, i heaved a great sob, collapsing on his grave, all control finally gone.
"No...." I cried, "Why did you leave me!?"

[Jessy Jackson]

At that moment I did something I would never forgive myself for. I hated Joshua. He thought he was saving Mai's life but all he was doing was killing her. He had sentaced her with his own death. He was causing her this pain, he was ruining her life. She felt it was her fault and it was hurting her beyond belief. He deserved to die in pain.

I immediatly felt horrible. Here i was, hating a man who had died to save others, who had risked everything for his friends. I closed my eyes and apologised to him.

[rachelle]

I didn't know quite what to do. It didn't feel real, it felt like a dream. But Maya falling to the ground brought everything out of dream land, and into reality.

Joshua was gone.

Sure, we'd had our differences, but in the end, it didn't matter. None of it did. What was the point of hatred? Of anger? There was none. Especially when life ended so abruptly as this.

It wasn't like we weren't used to any of this. All of us had experienced some kind of loss, some death due to uncontrolable factors. What was the point of all this...of all this fighting the demons and evil in the world, if everything just ends like this? What was the point if everyone died, and there was no way to stop it. What was the point?

[Aredhel]

"The point," Aralin said simply, intercepting Rachelle's emotions, "is to live. You must live one day at a time, striving to make the world better. Deeds in themselves are worthless unless they have a meaning, and what is your meaning? To fight. Against all evil and oppression. Against tyranny and hatred. To fight against the forces of this world who would harm others."

I had a sneaking suspicion that Aralin's words had a double-meaning, but I stopped to listen to her. She usually made a good point.

"Yes, it is a hard life, and it may seem pointless at some times, but they are tests of your courage, fortitude, and will. Faithless is he who leaves when the road darkens. Joshua did what he felt was right, as so many have done before him. He has gone away from this world, let him rest in peace, child. No, you cannot stop the cycle of death, and it makes things seem difficult, but think about the people you've helped. One life has gone, and many remain."

For the first time in my life, I realized something. She was unsure. She was making it up as she went along, trying desperately to help the people around her. She had no idea, no clue. But she knew enough to see that, beyond a doubt, people needed hope.

"No one can see the future," Aralin continued. "No soul can fortell what will come. The point is to work towards a future that is free from pain such as this. The point is to work towards a future of hope. The point-" she paused, lowering her voice. "The point... is to always remember the value of life, and to try, with every fibre of your being, to protect such a sacred thing. Joshua did that. He died, so that others may live. That, dear child, is the point."

I saw my older sister look away, and I met her eye. My poor, poor sister, trying desperately to find hope.

[Ónen i-Estel hyn] I heard her think, whether to me or to herself, I could not tell.

"Ú-chebin Estel amin," she finished in a whisper.

I gave hope to them. I have kept no hope for myself.

I laid a hand on her shoulder. "Im chebin i-Estel le," I said back to her. I have kept hope for you. Then, to only her;

[There is always hope]

I only wished Joshua could still experience it. I only wished that hope would find its way to the others; the hope that one day, they would meet again, wherever the souls of mortals gather, perhaps even in the Halls of Mandos, beyond the silver mists....

[Joshua]

"Ready?" he asked.

She was silent.

He waited, and then repeated himself, "I asked if you were ready yet?"

"How could I be?" she demanded, her voice thick with emotion.

"Good point," he admitted. "But ready or not, let's just go. Get it over with as it were."

Another long patch of silence.

"Yes. Let's get it over with."

[Aredhel]

I looked up sharply, my brief moment with Aralin forgotten. She looked at me, and I knew she felt the same thing.

"I amar prestar aen," she breathed. "Han mathon ne chae."

The world is changed. I feel it in the earth.

I nodded slowly. Something was about to happen. May the gods it held dear protect it if it disturbed Joshua's final resting place, or the silent mourners here.

((yea yea, i know, more elvish than is really neccessary, but it's such a beautiful language... and lol I figured that since she was obviously oblivious to whatever is going on with Joshua, I might as well make her pissed and deadly...))

[Avalon]

The storm that had been brewing since the moment I arrived back on Earth, looked like it was about to break.

"Back" on Earth. It felt strange to think like that.

<How the hell do you think I feel?> he asked me as we slowly walked towards the Graveyard my senses were telling me was where the largest concentration of the most powerful entities in the city resided. Joshua had told me this is where his friends were.

<Technically, I've never left, part of my soul immediately going into this sword that Ate had ready at the right time, but also, technically, you ARE me, but reincarnated, and have been gone from Earth for 400 plus years training to be the perfect warrior. And you wanna know what really sucks?>

<What?> I asked him, partially curious, but mostly just humoring him.

<I don't get to kiss Mai anymore,> he pouted. That was even stranger than what my entire life had been so far. Joshua could make expressions, but I couldn't see him make them, but I heard them instead.

Suddenly, we were there, and it was very hard to miss the large number of people huddled around a lone grave marker in the area. Five of them were vampiric, or at least partly so, while the rest lit up my senses like an exploding christmas tree on the 4th of July.

<Don't worry Avalon. Doc... one of the Docs anyway, can sense me approaching, and Mai and Rogue will sense you when you come into range. You're a Soul Sword bearer, and a Slayer too boot. They aren't going to attack you. And if Mai kisses you when she learns the truth . . .>

He trailed off as a string of perverted, male thoughts flooded his mind. I sort of grunted and did the mental equivalent of elbowing him in the ribs, getting his attention back on what was important.

<Huh? Oh, right! Don't worry. These people are my friends and once they figure out I'm not exactly dead anymore . . . well a couple of them are probably going to be more than pissed, but they won't hate you, and knowing them, they'll accept you very quickly. Hey, it wouldn't be the first time. Trust me, and trust them. Now let's get this over with.>

Hesitating, taking one last gulp, I did exactly that, dressed in a full-length trench coat, my dark, almost black hair in a pony-tail, and my bright blue eyes clouded by grief and worry, I started walking towards the group.

[Nicola Next]

I looked up sharply at the woman who walked towards. Her smell was complicated but I knew she was good and I knew she wasn't just an ordinary human.

Looking back at the grave I shivered with the coldness that was left with his departure. Unwanted memories poured through my brain and I pulled away from Tucker to put my arm around Mai and gently pull her away. Tucker and I hadn't really spoken since the potion thing and-

My breath caught as I remembered how I had been in love with Joshua that night in the Spot. He had been right there and now he was gone. Gone like my family were gone.

Hell he wasn't my best friend but I liked him. I considered him a good friend and as I watched the stranger come nearer I silently wished that wherever he was, it was a good place.

[Maya]

For the past few years i have tried not let emotions overrule me. I have fought to keep them buried for fear of them getting in the way of what i have to do. But now, the flood gates had crumbled, and i could not control the pain that pour out. I lay there, on his grave, knowing none of the others knew how to console me- and i didnt blame them. I clung desperately to some thought that maybe, eventually, in some way at least, i would find my love again... and it was then that i felt him. I sat up suddenly, my wide eyes gaping around, tear smudged makeup in streaks down my cheeks.
"Mai?" Del said.
"Hes here." I said, and i saw them look to each other in worry. I leapt to my feet, but Doc caught me,
"Calm, Mai, it's ok..."
"No... hes here, i know he's here!" My heart was breaking all over again as i still could not see him, despite the fact that my very soul told me he was near. "He has to be!" i gasped.

[Nicola Next]

'Mai! Ssh calm down it's okay'

'But he's right here! Nicki you have to believe me'

Her eyes were wide and wild with emotion, still red from crying so much. But I could see something that made me gasp. She believed it, she knew it and I believed her

'S'okay I believe you girlie. Just calm down you're scaring everybody' I paused 'But do you know where he is?'