Happy Birthday! Take two

[Jessy Jackson]

She was scared. I knew that, but it was upsetting to hear that.

[Maya]

"Maybe Charlie could use some space, yeah?" I said with a significant look at several people. I saw Doc prepare to argue, but then he sighed, and nodded,
"Come on Jess, lets get a cup of tea." He said, laying a hand on Jessy's shoulder. I forced a smile and they left. The midwife gave us a small smile,
"I'll be right outside." She said. I nodded, and sat beside Charlie,
"Here, lemme help." I said to her.
"Maya..."
"I know." I cut her off. "I know."

["Ash" Ashley Lee]

"Congrats, Doc!" Ashley said as Doc and Jessy came back into the waiting room. She patted his back with the arm that wasn't in a cast. "Sorry I don't have any cigares. Left them in my appartment." She noted their worried faces, but decieded it was none of her busniess.

[Jessy Jackson]

"Cigars? No thank you," I said, relieved that she didn't have them. "so, apart from the cast, how's things?"

["Ash" Ashley Lee]

"Don't worry Jess. I don't smoke. My dad told me its kinda a specail thing to give fathers cigars." She shrugged at Jessy's question. "Nothing intresting to tell. Just living my boring ol' life."

[Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison]

"Thanks, Ash," I said. "I'm gonna see if hospital coffee's improved since the last time I was here."

[Jessy Jackson]

"It won't have improved," I warned as he walked away. "Hey, I warned him. Not my fault if him comes back with his face all screwed up like an old man."

[Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison]

I didn't mae it to the coffe machine. I went around teh corner and leaned against the wall.

Was it the fact that the girl was my baby? Was that why she didn't want it? Did she feel the girl had caused the beatings? I wasn't sure. I hoped Charlotte would accept her eventually, though.

[Charlotte]

"Maya they think Doc did this to me." I gestured to my bruises.
"I know. Are you going to tell them who did?"
"I'm going to tell them it wasn't Doc."
"Are you going to tell them who it was?" I looked down at the baby then quickly looked up again.
"Will you hold it?"
"Her Charle, her." Maya said gently.
"Right, her." I practised isaying it. "Her. So will you hold her?"
"I think you need to be holding her right now."
"But I don't want to." I cried out in frustration. "i don't want a baby, I never meant for this to happen."
"But it did Charlie. you're not going to make her go away by rejecting her. Why don't you think of a name first, then maybe she'll be more of a person to you and you'll feel something for her."
"Maybe..." I wasn't hopeful but I was willing to try. I stared at her for a few moments. "How can I give her a name? I don't even know her?"
"YEs you do." Maya said soothingly. "she's your daughter."
I tried again, I conjured up images of people in my mind and tried to match their names to the tiny pink thing in my arms.
"Zoe." i said finally. "I'm calling her Zoe. It was my mother's name. Maybe I can transfer some of the love I had for her, she doesn't need it anymore."
"See. That's a start." Maya said smiling. I looked at her a little unsure. "I never said there's not a long way to go." She added seeing my face.

[Maya]

"But it'll turn out ok, Charlie... I understand you freaking... i've been there, remember? Hell i didnt even do the deed and i got landed with a kid..." We both chuckled. "But I love her all the same."
"It's different." Charlie gasped, "I mean... you and Josh..."
"Is it really?" I asked probingly.
"Of course!" She exclaimed, "No matter how it happened, Aila happened through love! That... Zoe... happened through anger."
"Just anger?" I asked.

((Charlie, tell me if you dont like anything i write, k?))

[Jessy Jackson]

(((K)))

I walked into the hospital slowly, looking around. The girl at reception had smiled at me today. That was good. But where to go? New borns? Recoveries? Doc? The adjoining old folks home? Wait a minute. "Doc?"

[Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison]

"Kayley, hey," I said, looking up at her. "You heard then?"

[Charlotte]

"No, not just anger. Hurt and irrationality and lust and anger again. Just not good things."
"But underneath that. You love Doc remember."
"But then, when I came back. You were right the first time Maya. i was just being a bitch. I was pissed off, not just with Doc but with the world. Actually surprisingly little with him. I was mad at Ate, at 'the powers that be', at...J-someone back in England. That's how this happened, I let my emotions get outside their confines. Now I have to deal with the effects of a one off for my whole life? That's not what a child should be about. That's a punishment and I know I deserve one but I thought I'd got it by now."
"Charlie, she's not a punishment but you're gonna be punishing her if you don't give her a chance. Here, hug her, don't just hold her." Maya moved my arms so that Zoe was against my body, so that here head rested on my shoulder. "Ther, you look more natural already."

[Jessy Jackson]

(((K)))

"Heard what?" I asked, leaning against the wall next to him. "I just came here to see what I could do, a little reading, some encouragement, playing games with the little kids." I smiled, then looked at him and frowned. He didn't look brilliant. "What happened?"

[Maya]

"Deep down somewhere you know this kid came from a place of love." I said quietly, stroking Charlies hair back off her face as she looked down at Zoe. "Even if it was masked by anger and all that, the reason you gave Doc so much shit back then was because you loved him so much. You didnt want anything good for yourself, so you tried to kill what the two of you had... but life doesnt work like that." I smiled wryly. "Maybe somehow your desperation not to show your love on the outside... kinda... caused this little cuteypie on the inside?"


((Cheeeeeeeese!))