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Post by Charlotte on Sept 1, 2004 14:59:46 GMT -5
((I'm so sorry I haven't been on but I've never known so much to happen in one day,and it would be the week I'm at lacrosse camp damn you all. You know I had 11 pages of one thread to read after 1 day not being on. Still at least it's fun and things are getting interesting))
I think my heart stopped beating for a second. I stood there looking straight at Doc and for a moment all I wanted to do was fall movie style into his arms and kiss him. Then I remembered reality and the blood rushed to my face. I closed my eyes for an instant, memories all too recent coming to the surface of my mind. When I opened my eyes again I was sure my face said exactly how I felt. I didn't want to do this but I had to.
"You can't." I said. "Doc please you just can't." He reeled as if I'd slapped him in the face but stayed where he was.
"I can't do anything about it Charlie." He said.
"Please." I choked out trying to hold back tears that came too readily. "I don't want you to get hurt." 'or me' i added silently and my heart thumped in agreement still raw from the wounds inflicted on it not so long ago. I couldn't believe those words again, not yet, maybe not ever was how I felt sometimes.
"Charlie" Doc began but I cut him off.
"No. please don't. You can't mean it, no one can. No one can love me." I cried then, deperate to keep him safe, to keep him away from the curse that seemed to hang over me I said it. The thing I least wanted to say and my heart nearly broke when I said it.
"And I can't love like that anymore."
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Post by Pepper on Sept 1, 2004 15:00:51 GMT -5
"Yay" I said with a grin. " I kinda like the whole solid form thing".
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Post by Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison on Sept 2, 2004 3:12:09 GMT -5
I stood there in shock. She couldn't...she didn't want to...
"If Maya were here right now, she'd say something like 'stop being stupid'," I said gently, not quite believing what I'd just heard. "Personal experiance. She's been saying it since the day the both of you got your weapons. Remember? You thought you were second best or something and I held you..."
"I remember," she whispered. I nodded.
"I almost didn't," i whispered now. "Because i was trying to protect you. Everyone i care about gets hurt, or hurts me. I got so many pieces of broken heart left behind me you could make a brand new one. I've been alone so long, so cold since what happened with Laurana, I decided it best to keep my heart closed.
"But i couldn't do it, Charlie girl. I met this firey red head, so strong spirited, so much like me it scared the bejeazus out of me. And then, I finally tell her how I really feel and I realise how much alike we really are. Both willing to stay alone to protect the other," I held my hand out. "No man's an island. I never believed that til now. I know your scared, Charlotte, I am too. Can we at least try?"
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Post by Maya on Sept 2, 2004 3:16:58 GMT -5
((And again with the AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww))
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Sept 2, 2004 3:22:40 GMT -5
(((Again with the ditto)))
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Post by Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison on Sept 2, 2004 3:40:35 GMT -5
(((I really don't like this kinds of movies. Or books. I'm probably the most unromantic person on the planet, yet I can come up with this...)))
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Sept 2, 2004 3:41:46 GMT -5
(((I'm a couple of posts ahead of you Doc!!!)))
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Post by Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison on Sept 2, 2004 3:45:16 GMT -5
(((Way ta go Jess! I'm serious nicely done...)))
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Post by Jessy Jackson on Sept 2, 2004 3:46:05 GMT -5
(((Thank you. Now go write mush)))
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Post by Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison on Sept 2, 2004 5:03:33 GMT -5
(((Darn, I'm frozeded...wait, i got it.)))
"You don't have to decide right now," I said. "If you're not ready, that's fine. I'll wait as long as i have to. But please, don't live life alone, even if it isn't me. You don't deserve that sort of life."
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Post by Charlotte on Sept 2, 2004 13:43:17 GMT -5
I couldn't help but release the tears. "It's a recipe for disaster." I said, trying desperately to convince myself not to give in. "One of us will end up hurt, if not both."
"Does that mean no?" Doc asked. I put my hands to my face, I couldn't look at him...I couldn't do it...damn i wanted to kiss him so bad...
"Yes." I said quickly. "No...I don't know." I bit my lip in confusion, looking around for some help but we were alone. "Doc I..." I started, looking at his face, handsome despite the anticipation written all over it. I moved a step forward and he did too. "I..we..it..can't." He reached out and I felt his hands around my waist. Weakly I tried to push them away but I couldn't. He leaned forwards and I went to meet him, then...I was floating somewhere near heaven. I felt something...something strong, indescribable. It held fast to my entire being, not just my body but my mind and my soul. By my side the weapon Doc had given me two weeks ago glowed briliantly. It had lain dormant since its creation but now there was a connection. I pulled away from Doc and stared at it open mouthed.
"Wow." Doc said and i was brought back to earth.
"Oh my g-d" I cried, completely freaked by what had just happened. "No, no, Doc I can't, i can't." I turned to leave, my heart thumping in my chest, my breathing short and shallow. 'why? why didn't I just go? Guys not a good idea. What the hell was that supposed to mean? What happened?'were just some of the thoughts rushing through my mind and I wouldn't have been surprised if a telepath on the other side of the world had heard my brain screaming at my heart, telling it how stupid it was.
((Sorry Doc, that's kinda a big jump and I don't know if it even makes sense...sorry, just felt like it but once again entirely deleteable.))
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Post by Jackson ''Doc'' Ellison on Sept 3, 2004 4:40:59 GMT -5
(((Nah. Means we can stretch it out a bit. I actually had a bit in mind we can play with in the Spot. This will be fun.)))
I watched numbly as she ran, from me, from herself, from fear.
Nice one, dumbass, I thought. Way to win the girl over.
"Too fast," I muttered. "I can't believe...I was sostupid...Damn I'm an idiot. I should've just kept my flaming mouth shut," I moved off, tracking the others. I needed to kill something. Grace would do.
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Post by Charlotte on Sept 3, 2004 15:13:03 GMT -5
I didn't run far. Just far enough to get away, far enough that I could break down and cry with no one seeing. I crouched against a wall in a grimy alleyway and buried my face in my hands.'Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid' I told myself banging my head backwards on the wall with each repetition. Eventually I had to stop and I looked up at where I was. It was the alley just outside the Spot, the one we had fought in my first night in LA, the night I had met the gang and the night they had first helped me...I could remember with perfect clarity Maya swiping at my old foe, Del turning up to join in, the pain of that stab wound and Doc...Doc bandaging me up, looking after me, making me feel safe.
I stood up quickly and began to walk-any direction anywhere-i wasn't paying attention, all I knew was the area was run down. Beer cans littered the floor, drunks dozed in doorways, windows were smashed in and most buildings were no more than closed warehouses. The grim surroundings matched my feelings, I was so angry with myself I would have countinued bashing my head in if I hadn't valued my brain cells.
If only it wasn't for Jeremy, maybe just maybe I would have opened up to him. There would still have been obstacles to work around, still the likelihood of him getting hurt but he was willing to risk that and maybe I could convince myself to as well but Jeremy...I couldn't undo the damage he had done no matter how much I wished I could. He had fooled me, fooled me so deeply that he loved me, that I loved him and I believed it so strongly that I never said no and then, when I needed to, i couldn't. I was breathing heavily, trying to leave those memories behind, to get rid of them. Finally I managed to displace them only to hear Doc's voice in my head. " I held you...I almost didn't. Because i was trying to protect you. Everyone i care about gets hurt, or hurts me. I got so many pieces of broken heart left behind me you could make a brand new one. I've been alone so long, so cold since what happened with Laurana, I decided it best to keep my heart closed. But i couldn't do it, Charlie girl. I met this firey red head, so strong spirited, so much like me it scared the bejeazus out of me. And then, I finally tell her how I really feel and I realise how much alike we really are. Both willing to stay alone to protect the other."
"No man's an island." I whispered, remembering what he said next and there was a pulse of energy from the dagger he had given me. I started walking again, this time more definitely although I didn't care where. My brain was still buzzing...do? don't? risk hurting him? risk hurting you? believe him? don't believe? trust him...that's what it came down to. Did I trust Doc with my heart? Did I trust myself with his-the heart he had already proved so fragile, the heart I wanted kept safe and as whole and unblemished as could be. So that was the question I settled on as I rounded the corner, the question that so engrossed me that I didn't see what was coming.
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Post by grace on Sept 6, 2004 11:08:42 GMT -5
I had left the demon behind me, with the slayer and her friends. I did not mind so much, he was cute, but it would be a nice surprise for the slayer and her little group. I had killed another one of them. I smirked to myself, and a vampire near me asked why I had.
"This town is gonna be ours." I said, and they shouted in triumph. The other demon, Rachelle, came towards me, and I took her hand. "You feeling ok?" I asked gently, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "First fight. How did that feel?"
"Great." She said enthusiastically.
"Do you wanna get your friend soon?"
"Maya...the slayer?" She asked hopefully.
I smiled, intrigued by her innocence. "No sweetie, the slayer's for me. Your boy."
"Killian." She said, and she shrugged.
"Not interested?"
"Not really. I want a girl."
I grinned, and tightened my grip on her hand. "Of course you do honey."
And then I saw her...the red head, stumbled into an alleyway, sobbing. I smiled, I was hungry and she looked like a good meal. "Go on without me." I said to my vampires, and they did as they were told. I left Rachelle, and walked into the alleyway as the girl crouched down on the ground. "Are you ok?" I asked, gently, and she looked up at me, her cheeks stained with tears.
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Post by Aredhel on Sept 6, 2004 12:54:13 GMT -5
((wow... well, I'm far too lazy to read this entire thread, but I'd like to say, about Doc and Charlotte - awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww))
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'I could so save the world if somebody handed me superpowers.'
